There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
