Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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