i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
