ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize