hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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