is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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