It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
