I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
