this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
