I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
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I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.