we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.