I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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