I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
