I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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