We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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