Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize