he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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