I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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