you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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