i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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