I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
