But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
