You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
