New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize