Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
