do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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