Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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