# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
zippers are such a cool invention
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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