Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
