just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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