you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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