____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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