I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
