if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
