All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
