i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sext me about skeletons
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize