think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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