K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
