YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
