how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize