Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
