You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm just crazy horny about you
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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