It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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