The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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