I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
