I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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