Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Pooping to opera.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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