Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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