is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
