i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
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It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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