bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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