she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
