as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i think i just lost a toe
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
