The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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