I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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