in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I could fuck to npr.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
