is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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