I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
