Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
