i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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