You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
