i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
