have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize